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| Coffee a problem? - Elsta (23/01/2003 12:02:16 AM) |
I’m a big caffeine fan. I love the stuff. Adam and I started the ‘V’ revolution a good year before it became popular. Now I feel as though I maybe getting old.
Now instead of drinking V or Jolt I start my workday with coffee, not just any coffee either. I drink Mr Bean’s double espressos with hazelnut, this is induced (for best results) around 10:30 in the morning and no real work should take place before this first dose has been administered.
Then at lunch, the most important liquid of the day I go with another double shot espresso, this time in iced form more often then not with chocolate. By this stage in the day my head has started to rotate (see poltergeist) and ideas of shooting everyone in my office mingle with solid strategies on how best to solve world hunger and profound theories on perpetual motion mixed with nuclear fusion.
Now around 2:30 I get what most of you would call a twitch but is more likely to be some massive body convulsion / aneurism manifesting itself in shaky leg twitchy eye syndrome.
I don’t stop at that though, no fekkin way! At 5 to 4 just before the coffee trolley closes I’m there. One more coffee for the road I tell myself better not make it a double though cause I can already feel the pulse build up behind my eyeballs.
This last shot does two things… firstly it ensures I won’t be sleeping before 1:00am and makes my bike ride home take 8 minutes instead of 15.
Do I need help?
Mr Coffee
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Mr Coffee,
I have read your heart felt letter, and have this advice for you: You absoflogginglutely need help. Fortuantely the help that I would suggest comes in the simple form of a double shot latte, with a dash of vanilla. This should help cut your insane commute down to about five minutes.
But seriously folks - remember that it takes 12 standard doses of caffeine per day until it becomes toxic - that is roughly 12 heaped teaspoons of Nescafe blend 43 (BTW - has anyone noticed that the jar has turned evil? Thank the lord on high that I buy Moccona indulgence for instant and Merlot lovely mega rich blend in that lovely tin for my plunger - because god knows I need another shot!
Where in gods name is my plunger! oh what am I dealing with?
Princess in agony.
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